Into The Sun
by SkyOrihara
Summary: The Merc with the Mouth pisses off the wrong alien over lord and faces a most cruel fate. A trip straight into the nearest sun!


Into The Sun

"Can't we talk about this?!"

"We've talked already, Wilson. My decision has not nor will it ever change."

"You sure? I mean, c'mon, I know you're mad buddy but I think this is taking things just a little too far don't ya think?"

"Too far? Not far enough! You have robbed me! Deceived me! Humiliated me! And for this you must pay."

"Pay?! C'mon, it wasn't that bad! I think you're being just a little bit sensitive here. You wanna talk it out? I think we should-"

"QUIET CLOWN!" growled the evil alien overlord, shoving Deadpool into the pitiless care of three of his alien guards/goons. "SEND HIM INTO THE SUN!" He commanded.

The three guards/goons went to work straight away, 2 applied restraints on Deadpools wrists and ankles, the third guard holding a very alien looking gun to his back.

One starting yelling at him in his funky alien language, poking the gun hard into his back.

"Alright, I'm movin', I'm movin'! Damn."

The group made their way down the hall, long and silver and barely lit.

_So, what's the plan? _

"Dunno yet. I'm thinking some thin' flashy though."

_Flashy like explosions flashy? _

"The best kind! Blow this dump to kingdom come. After I make my exit of course."

_How do we do that? You mean...we're gonna blow it up after we fly into the sun?! I thought we agreed we didn't want to do that?_

_**You idiot, he means we're going to hijack one of those pod things they brought us here on.**_

_Oh. That makes more sense. _

**Of course it does. **

_But how are we gonna steal one with these guys around? _

"Work in' on that little detail right now," Deadpool assured the voices in his head, eyeing the large corridor just ahead of them. He knew where that door led to (a bit of info he picked up whilst being a stowaway on the ship) and knew that he could make his escape more easily in the ships command center, with more room and more random shit he could use as weapons.

When they approached, the door opened for them automatically, and inside Deadpool could recognize the complex alien computers and the ugly little alien nerds typing away on them.

He also recognized his swords placed on one of their alien tables in the center of it all. One of the guards started chatting up what looked like the director of the thing, and his focus and his grip loosened. Oh sweet opportunity.

Deadpool head butted the other guard, knocking him out. Then he went for the one holding the gun, dodging the pew-pew projectiles, he elbowed him square on his alien nose and sending the gun wielding alien smack into a wall.

The aliens scrambled for reinforcements, and upon their arrival, they found they were too late. Deadpool was at the control panel, bodies at his feet, studying a map of the ship with his swords in hand.

"I can't read any of this crap. What the hell is that even supposed to be?," Deadpool stated, looking at a symbol that looked kinda like a pickle with a sombrero on it and a hamburger with cha-chas.

_Looks like we're gonna have to wing it!_

**Isn't that what we've been doing? **

"Wingin' it is!"

Before Deadpool could proceed with the winging and the it, however, every single alien among the group of supposed 'reinforcements' had their alien space guns pointed at him.

_They look in' at us?_

**Who else would they be looking at? **

It was then that every space gun started charging and gearing up to fire.

**We should do something now.**

_Yeah! Hacky, slashy time! Let's tear these douches apart! _

_"_Good idea!"

Deadpool took out the space gun wielding aliens one douche at a time, within minutes only one had remained, cowering in fear on the floor.

"So, last man standing huh? You wouldn't happen to know where your fancy little pods are, would you?"

The alien said nothing, but continued to cower in fear, now in a fetal position.

"Didn't think so." Deadpool was ready to take the alien out of his alien misery when he suddenly picked up and thrown straight across the room.

"The hell?!" **The hell?! **_The hell?! _

"Did you really think you could escape me so easily?"

Deadpool knew that voice. He should, it was the same one that had condemned him to the sun not too long ago. Once Deadpool's vision was clear he could see the alien over lord, shadowed by an alien goon about the size of the Hulk and twice as ugly.

"You will not make a fool of me again, Wilson. Make no mistake, you will be punished for your crimes against me!"

"You know, there's a bad joke in there somewhere."

The alien overlord simply stared at him. "Take him"

The big alien thug grabbed Deadpool and swung him over his shoulder, carrying him out of the Control Center.

"Wait-it's comin' to me! It's comin-!" Deadpool yelled, the reader unable to read the hilarious joke that had occurred to him due to the corridor closing behind him.


End file.
